Filed under: Kids

I was very close to fainting at Leilani’s ENT appointment today. The doctor was talking to me about the surgery procedures and suddenly I felt like the world was closing in. I was waiting for the exact moment, when I knew it was time to act of course. I probably shouldn’t have, considering I totally embarrassed myself. After about 5 minutes passed, the colors in the room started to fade. So I politely interrupted him and asked for some water. I felt awkward, so all I said was that I hadn’t been feeling well. Why go into the whole “I’m low-carbing” thing when I had already told him more than enough about my own health and tonsillectomy.

Luckily the water helped. I started to calm down then. He went on to explain everything, while I sat there daydreaming about how horrible it might’ve been to faint there on the doctor’s floor.
Leilani is scheduled to have her tonsils and adenoids removed on March 25th at 8:00 am. From the moment I signed the paperwork I’ve been all nerves. Any kind of surgery scares me, but this kind really makes me scared, because they are working on an area where she breathes. I had a nightmare several months ago that all this reminded me of today. Leilani was in the dream and on a bed, right out of some kind of surgery. She was dying and I was by her side. I can’t even begin to describe the fear I felt in that dream. After remembering it, that goddamn fear is back.

Leilani is in school now. I dropped her off after the appointment. MIL said she would baby-sit Forrest that day, which is a lifesaver. I’m going to need Matthew with me the entire time. She’ll probably miss a week of school, but its worth it if she doesn’t get sick so often anymore.
We are just about to head out the door and go shopping. Perfect timing since almost all the food is gone. Today after school I’ll take Lani sledding with her friends, then I’ll come home and it’ll be time to go to Matthew’s parent’s house for dinner. What a day.