Filed under: Dieting

Leilani is finally eating. She lost another lb last night, so this is a good thing. This morning she asked for a Pop Tart. She shocked me by eating the whole thing and then asking for another one. We kept her out of school today, but she may be able to go back tomorrow. Have I mentioned that she sounds exactly like me? Its freaky! So freaky that I want her voice to come back to normal now. It would be ok, if I had never watched any of my parent’s home movies of me when I was 9. Then I would never know how I sounded when I was little. What if she has my singing voice too? Ahhhh!!!

I’m very tired today. Moved onto Phase 2 of the South Beach diet. I wanted some fruit. I’ve been on Phase 1 for long enough (did it the whole time on Atkins). But right now I’m having doubts, because I’m hungry. It could be the fructose in the apricots I ate. Any sugar I eat now makes me feel as if I’m starving. Its that damn insulin response. Hard to explain. You’d have to read Atkins or South Beach to understand.

I’ve decided to count Weight Watchers points, along with doing South Beach. I’m allowing myself a little extra, so I don’t get hungry (even though thats not the case right now). The diet allows a person to eat whatever they want, but its not Atkins and you don’t go into Ketosis, so eating anything I want would be my kiss of death for any future weight loss. This really sucks. Someone needs to write a special low-carb, low-fat plan, just for me. I hate dieting!

What are the reasons I’m trying to lose weight anyway?

1. Because I hate the way I look.
2. Because I want to fit into nicer clothes. I want to wear a tight shirt that is all the rage right now, and not have fat rolls sticking out. I want my back to be smooth.
3. Because I want to go swimming someday soon and the only way to do that is to wear a bathing suit. I don’t want to put one on if I’m fat.
4. Because I’ll like myself and may take more pictures. I don’t have very many. What if I were to die? The kids would have no pictures of me to look at. That isn’t fair to them.
5. Because I want to feel sexy. I feel sexier when I look and feel good.
6. Because being hired for a singing job may require being slim.
7. Because I’ll have less of a chance developing Type 2 diabetes later down the road. My HS might go away completely.
8. I won’t ever have to be ridiculed about being fat (unless of course they find something *else* wrong with me, haha).

Anyhoo. Those are good reminders. I hope I can get through this day now.