Filed under: Me, Rants

Well dear blog. It looks like you and me are going to be close buddies for a while.

I went and fell down the stairs again. This time I didn’t walk away with a screwed up tailbone. No, I actually broke a bone in my left leg. I am so talented!

I was walking down the stairs towards the front door and Leilani and her purse were sitting there. My foot went into her purse’s handle and I tried kicking it off while walking (don’t ever do what I did). Well instead of catching the next step with my foot, I sorta flew forward and onto the landing, missing those last 2 steps entirely. I landed right on my stomach which in turn knocked the wind out of me. My left AND right leg were crumpled underneath me. I felt something in my left leg snap and the pain was enormous. At that point I either went into shock or I was fainting, because the world was going bye bye. Matt was there at my side immediately and freaking out. Told me to stay with him and yadda yadda yadda.

I needed water so I asked for it and they brought me a water bottle. I drank and breathed and tried to stay afloat in the world. I was scared that I was dying, which now is silly, but when you go through something like that you aren’t thinking rationally. It took me 15 minutes to come back into reality. Thats when I knew I couldnt get up. So Matt helped me hobble over to the couch and that’s where I laid for an hour until we went to the Emergency Room with all 3 kids in tow.

I had x-rays and was told I’d be getting a half-cast because my Fibula looked broken. They said next week (which is this week now) I should call the Orthopedic Surgery whose name they would give me, and schedule an appointment for a more permanent solution.

So today is Monday and its been a hell of a weekend.

I wish I had lost tons of weight before I broke my leg. Because hauling 220 pounds of fat and muscle around is extremely taxing.

I’m too afraid to try hopping up and down the stairs with my crutches because I’ve already fallen once. And that HURT. I had to put weight on my left leg in order to not fall completely over and I felt something move around. Eek!

To go up the stairs I haul my ass up, each step. It takes me 10 to 13 minutes. Maybe more. To go down the stairs I slide down. That goes a lot faster. Yesterday I went downstairs so I could hang out with the family until Matt left for work. It was great until I had to come back. So I vowed last night that I would stay right where I am for the rest of the day. In bed. Even though it hurts my tailbone so much.

I’ve put Leilani and Forrest to work a lot. They are pretty good about it but do get tired of doing everything. Yesterday Matt had to work but he didn’t want to leave me alone. I tried calling some friends over, but they were too busy. Have lives of their own and problems of their own and I understand that.

I was worried that he’d have to come home because it was getting tough with Lauralei escaping every second out of the living room, but we made it to 7 and he got home. Sundays he earns overtime. And goodness knows we need all the money we can get right now because of the huge hospitals bills we’ll be getting. I don’t have insurance. So all of this REALLY sucks right now.

I’ve been complaining a lot and I shouldn’t. I need to just suck it up and be thankful that I will still be able to walk when this is over. I still have both legs. My right leg is ok, which is my most needed leg. And nothing else is broken.

I’m just sad I guess. Its hard NOT to be sad when you are stuck in a bed or on a couch all day long and you can’t do anything, except get up and go to the bathroom. I can’t cook meals for the kids or take care of them and I can’t clean my house. I can’t do my Pole Dancing job. I can’t practice for the half-marathon I was going to do in August. So yeah, I’m sad right now. But I’ll get over it in due time. I think things will be a lot better after I get whatever I’m going to get from this Orthopedic doc and he tells me just how long its going to be until I can get it off. I was losing weight and everything and this is a HUGE setback. But I am going to try my hardest to continue to eat right.

And hopefully we don’t have to file for bankruptcy. I’m scared that this injury is going to cost us all that we have. I don’t believe in anything, but it would be nice if some tiny miracle could occur right now.

Tags:Broken Fibula, broken leg, hospital, insurance

1. Jul
   22

   Amy Says:

   I’m so sorry Mary. As far as Bankruptcy goes while it isnt great it also isnt the end of the world. We filed years ago. It only took a couple of years and we started getting credit card offers again and we were still able to get this house. Keep the faith sweets!

   July 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 pm

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