Filed under: Dieting, Kids, Me, My Business

I’m sorry little blog. I forgot you were here!

I have so much to talk about too.

Hrm…how to begin?

Let’s start with my job.

I love it!!! I have at least 3 pole parties a month. My goal is to get 5, but most of the time it doesn’t work out that way. Something always comes up and the Hostess has to cancel with me. It’s upsetting. I think a lot of people don’t understand that this IS my job. The money I earn is MY spending money. Most of the time I use it to buy marketing materials or something for the house or kids, so when I have enough left over to spend on myself its a real treat.

The “romance” part of the company is ok. At first it was great but lately its been a thorn in my side. The company only has Fed Ex 2-day shipping for Alaska. So if I order more catalogs or demos, I have to eat the shipping. I hate it and as of late have been contemplating leaving the company to pursue my own pole party business. I’m going to give myself a little time to think about it more though.

Mother Nature has been very generous to us with the weather this summer. It has been beautiful out and WARM! The kids play outside almost every day. I was hoping we would do some fun family things this year, but Matt hasn’t been keen on any of my ideas. I may just kidnap the kids and take them to Seward with me one day before school starts. Life is for living. Not sitting around doing nothing!

Lauralei is 2 now and Leilani is 11. Forrest will be 9 in October. I can’t believe I have an 11 year old! I put her birthday on my 2010 calendar because I had to write down a dentist appointment they have in January. Writing the number 12 felt very awkward. I stared at my handwriting and then realized 12 means she’ll practically be a teenager! Luckily Leilani shows no sign of angst yet and she still showers me with kisses and hugs…so maybe she’ll be one of those teenagers that still loves her parents. Or maybe she just isn’t “there” yet.

Lauralei is just, well…she behaves like a 5 year old. In everything she does. She has been speaking eloquently since she was 1 1/2. She uses big words now. She understands EVERYTHING. I’m beginning to think we have a prodigy on our hands. Leilani and Forrest never showed this potential at age 2. I wonder what she is going to be like when she is older. Maybe I should be scared.

Forrest has been having some difficulty this summer. I’m itching to get him back into school, because I think structure helps him cope better. I don’t have much structure around here during the summer. Last summer I made the kids do workbooks, but this summer I’ve been lazy. Luckily he’s made a few new friends and is being more sociable. Seeing him outside interacting with the boys makes this mama very happy.

So, besides trying to make my business successful, taking care of my family and house, and learning new pole moves, I am also trying to lose tons of weight. I joined a Weight Loss support group and 2 of my friends from the mom’s group are in it. I’ve lost 10 lbs and several inches. There is a reward at the end, but I’m not too concerned with it at this point.

I’ve started walking more and just recently began running the track. I’ve only made it around 3 times, but for a 220 pound girl, that is an accomplishment! Well, in my eyes anyway. I’m going to aim for 4 next week, which I believe is a mile.

Most of the girls in the weight loss group have signed up for a half-marathon with me. We are doing it in August. It seems far away, but its not. I am trying to “train” myself to walk farther distances. I think the running will help too. I’ve made it around the track 9 times with a combination of running and walking. During the rest of the week I pole and lift weights. I’m ready to get back into being fit.

I was sort of fit for a while in Florida (and an inch away from a pair of size 14 jeans! ugh!) and I want to strive for that again. But I also want to lose the rest of this weight and be thin for once in my life. There was ONE moment in my life when I was truly thin. I was 14 and a size 12. Almost an 11.

I looked beautiful and I felt beautiful. I want to feel like that again.

Filed under: Dieting, Family, Humor, Kids, My Business

I received my first request to do a bachelorette party a few days ago. I emailed the girl back promptly and let her know what I do and the cost. She didn’t get back to me though so I sent another email last night. This morning she wrote and said a lot of the other women feel uncomfortable about it. That’s to be expected I guess. When one thinks of pole dancing they think of strippers and sex. But at the same time you would think common sense would outweigh all that. I guess not.

So, I’m patiently awaiting her response to the email I sent back. I told her that we only take off our socks and shoes and nothing more. I explained that pole dancing these days is more about fitness than being sexy. And thats true. But to a point. Many women still buy them to please their husbands. And I am hoping someone will buy a pole from me eventually, but right now I just need to book parties.

Its kind of premature for me to do knowing that school is coming up and I have no idea what my calendar for September will look like. But since I’m scheduling parties only on the weekends, I figure it shouldn’t matter. I may make an exception once in a while if someone needs a party during the week. Hopefully Lauralei is sleeping right by then.

Leilani and I went out shopping today. I bought my first post-nursing bra. An underwire. Its white and silky smooth. I love it and can’t wait to wear it tomorrow. It feels very liberating to finally have my boobs to myself, but at the same time I do miss nursing my baby girl. I did it for so long that sometimes I’ll sit down to rock Lauralei for a nap and I’ll catch myself lifting my shirt. It only takes a moment for me to realize it but strange that my brain hasn’t gotten the message by now.

The weight loss challenge I joined back in April is over now. My wonderful friend won. She worked very hard and looks fantastic. The second challenge started up and I decided to try again. I’m serious about my weight loss this time and have been exercising every day, but I don’t know if its enough. My weight has stalled for almost two months. I keep going up and down on the scale by a pound or two and it is driving me insane. Even if I’m an angel for two weeks straight and eat the right amount of WW points and exercise my ass off, I either lose only one pound or lose nothing at all. I want to throw my brand new scale out the window!

I tell myself I can’t stay at this weight forever. It has to come off sometime. I am working out and losing inches, so the weight will have to follow eventually. Right?

School starts next month. Yipee!!! It is going to be so nice having the house to myself again. Granted I have Lauralei, but she doesn’t drive me half as nuts as the older two. They are always fighting over something petty. And then Forrest stims all day and though its not his fault, sometimes his stimming really bothers me.

He can be too loud during Lauralei’s naps and not be aware of it. And when I ask him to stop he seems oblivious that I am even there. Sometimes I worry the toys he puts into his mouth may have lead in them and I don’t think there is any way to find out if they are recalled because they are so old. He won’t “play” with anything else except those damn Bionicles. I hate those stupid toys and wish he had never gotten those things for his birthday. And while I’m at it, I hate Autism. It takes him away sometimes when I want him here, with me. I want to know what he’s thinking and feeling, but he can never tell me sometimes. And out of everything, I hate that the most. Ugh.

Sorry…got off on a tangent. Most days I’m ok with his behaviors and then there are some days I want to cry, because its not fair.

Filed under: Baby, Dieting

Lauralei is sleeping better. She still wakes up at least once a night though. If she doesn’t wake up, she makes noises while trying to put herself back to sleep. Those noises come through on the monitor and I awake thinking she’ll need rescuing.

For two weeks I tried to diet and do well. But that didn’t happen. Most of it I blame on being so tired. I felt like I needed food to give me back the energy I lacked. In turn, I gained 2 pounds back. I’m sure it was just water weight. When I lose, the first 4 pounds are water.

I’m determined to shed the pounds, but I have no motivation to go with it. In other words – I want to get up and exercise, but my brain is too tired and tells me instead to sit on my ass all day and do nothing. Which is something I’ve become very successful at.

I wonder when this little girl of mine will fall into a better pattern of sleep. She is 8 months old now. Aren’t older babies supposed to sleep better?

Oh look at the clock. Its almost lunch time. I’d better go.

Filed under: Dieting

I’m going to try the whole weight loss thing again. Yadda Yadda Yadda. You’ve heard it all before if you read my blog.

The thing is, I have been trying for several weeks and can’t stick with it. :loser: ? Maybe.

My goal is to do the old Weight Watchers (1-2-3 Success version of the program) and give myself the points for a nursing mom which is about 41. I’m still working out at Curves, though last week I was sick and didn’t go.

There is good news. I am only 8 pounds away from my pre-prego weight and I can fit into my old size 20s again, albeit them being a little tight. Thank goodness I can shop at Old Navy again too. I love their clothes.