Filed under: Baby,Humor,Kids

Dear Future Mamas of The World, Mothers of High Maintenance Babies and/or Toddlers, or Mothers who need some reassurance,

I am just writing this to let you know that Yes – there is light at the end of that long dark miserable tunnel. I know you are in hell right now getting up every hour, trudging sleepily to your baby’s (or toddler’s) room, cursing in every imagineable tongue, wishing you’d fall into an accidental coma…but just know, it will end. Eventually all those tireless nights will stop, your baby (or toddler) will stop needing you to rock them back to sleep, they will fall into slumber on their own, and they won’t need that nightly feeding. 

My husband and I (and our poor older two who had to endure the crying – mostly mine not the baby) are living proof! It took over a year for our little Lauralei (who turns 16 months old tomorrow) to “get it”, but I say better late than never.

We swaddled Lauralei the moment she was born. We did it every single night and even bought a Miracle Blanket  because she squirmed out of her Kiddopotomous swaddle. Eventually it became something she needed to have each night because she would flail her arms and scratch at her face. And then there was the nursing. I loved having her near me through out the day and would nurse her while I sat near my laptop. She would nurse herself right to sleep and I let her stay there. She got so used to being on my warm lap that we couldn’t put her to sleep by just laying her down. She had to be swaddled, nursed, and rocked to sleep. Every. Single. Night. It was horrible. And the worst part was that she didn’t take pacifiers because she had me.

So we had to take baby steps (haha) and take away one thing at a time. We stopped swaddling her in April and put her in a Halo sleep sack. Then in May we stopped using that because she was getting too big. She still scratched her face so we kept socks on her hands. We still had to rock her and pat her back, but things were looking up. Finally around June/July she didn’t need the socks. And we stopped rocking her. That led to many sleepless nights. She got up about 4 times each night and we I lost a lot of sleep and was at my wit’s end. I was so unbalanced that I had thoughts of checking myself into the psych hospital. 

So, we tried letting her cry-it-out (I don’t believe in that method, but I needed the sleep and I know if I had kept going to her, I may have done something rash) each night. We did it for naps too. The first week was a nightmare because she cried for so long (and I’m still baffled at how a very sleepy toddler can scream at the top of her lungs for so many hours) but after 2 more weeks she stopped. 

Her bottle is gone too. She gave that up last week. Or I guess I should say that I made her give it up. She now uses her toddler cups full-time. We put all 3 of the kids to bed together. Leilani and Forrest brush their teeth and get into their beds to read books and Lauralei gets her teeth brushed and her pjs on. Then its lights out. One of us volunteers to put Lauralei to bed. We sing to her, while her head is on our shoulder, and then lay her down on her tummy. Then we cover her and say good night and walk out the door. Some nights she will whine, or cry for a few seconds, but for the most part she sleeps. She does stir sometimes at night and I’ll have to rub her back every now and then or change a diaper. 

Eventually she won’t need 6 ounces of formula before bed and she won’t need to have her back rubbed, or be sung to…

And the silliest thing about all of this? When I look back a year from now, or many years from now, I am going to miss all the crazy stuff I went through. And so will you.

Filed under: Dieting,Family,Humor,Kids,My Business

I received my first request to do a bachelorette party a few days ago. I emailed the girl back promptly and let her know what I do and the cost. She didn’t get back to me though so I sent another email last night. This morning she wrote and said a lot of the other women feel uncomfortable about it. That’s to be expected I guess. When one thinks of pole dancing they think of strippers and sex. But at the same time you would think common sense would outweigh all that. I guess not.

So, I’m patiently awaiting her response to the email I sent back. I told her that we only take off our socks and shoes and nothing more. I explained that pole dancing these days is more about fitness than being sexy. And thats true. But to a point. Many women still buy them to please their husbands. And I am hoping someone will buy a pole from me eventually, but right now I just need to book parties.

Its kind of premature for me to do knowing that school is coming up and I have no idea what my calendar for September will look like. But since I’m scheduling parties only on the weekends, I figure it shouldn’t matter. I may make an exception once in a while if someone needs a party during the week. Hopefully Lauralei is sleeping right by then.

Leilani and I went out shopping today. I bought my first post-nursing bra. An underwire. Its white and silky smooth. I love it and can’t wait to wear it tomorrow. It feels very liberating to finally have my boobs to myself, but at the same time I do miss nursing my baby girl. I did it for so long that sometimes I’ll sit down to rock Lauralei for a nap and I’ll catch myself lifting my shirt. It only takes a moment for me to realize it but strange that my brain hasn’t gotten the message by now.

The weight loss challenge I joined back in April is over now. My wonderful friend won. She worked very hard and looks fantastic. The second challenge started up and I decided to try again. I’m serious about my weight loss this time and have been exercising every day, but I don’t know if its enough. My weight has stalled for almost two months. I keep going up and down on the scale by a pound or two and it is driving me insane. Even if I’m an angel for two weeks straight and eat the right amount of WW points and exercise my ass off, I either lose only one pound or lose nothing at all. I want to throw my brand new scale out the window!

I tell myself I can’t stay at this weight forever. It has to come off sometime. I am working out and losing inches, so the weight will have to follow eventually. Right?

School starts next month. Yipee!!! It is going to be so nice having the house to myself again. Granted I have Lauralei, but she doesn’t drive me half as nuts as the older two. They are always fighting over something petty. And then Forrest stims all day and though its not his fault, sometimes his stimming really bothers me.

He can be too loud during Lauralei’s naps and not be aware of it. And when I ask him to stop he seems oblivious that I am even there. Sometimes I worry the toys he puts into his mouth may have lead in them and I don’t think there is any way to find out if they are recalled because they are so old. He won’t “play” with anything else except those damn Bionicles. I hate those stupid toys and wish he had never gotten those things for his birthday. And while I’m at it, I hate Autism. It takes him away sometimes when I want him here, with me. I want to know what he’s thinking and feeling, but he can never tell me sometimes. And out of everything, I hate that the most. Ugh.

Sorry…got off on a tangent. Most days I’m ok with his behaviors and then there are some days I want to cry, because its not fair.

Filed under: Kids,Love

Leilani hit the double digits today. She turned 10 years old. I can’t believe its been that long already. We had a very fun party at Build-A-Bear and she came home with a teddy bear, kitty cat, and an autograph bear. It wasn’t noisy or chaotic (because we usually go to Chuck E Hell). In fact, it was almost peaceful and after a while we were the only ones in the store. After we came home and ate chocolate ice cream cake she exclaimed that today was the best birthday ever. The kids were really worn out (thank goodness!). After their heads hit the pillow they were out like a light. And Lauralei is doing well right now too (I’ll probably pay for writing that later!) :yes:

I was 20 when I gave birth to Leilani. My pregnancy with her was almost text book. The delivery wasn’t. She was a week and a half late and I had to be induced with Cervadil. It took 3 of those suckers for contractions to begin and by the time they did it was early morning. I didn’t get much sleep before we trudged to the hospital but a nurse I came later to dislike, gave me something she called her “favorite cocktail” and that put me out for hours. Though, I had a knot in my butt for a few days.

When I awoke it was time for the anesthesiologist to give me an epidural. After that, I was given Pitocin, and a few hours later my water was broken by the doctor. We had a scare a little bit after that. Leilani went into distress and I couldn’t breath. It happened so fast. Everyone rushed out of the room and came back in wearing blue scrubs. Matthew too. I was frantic and signed a bunch of papers allowing them to perform an emergency c-section. But then it was over as soon as it began. They turned my body onto its side and Leilani was fine. And so was my breathing.

As my body began its transitions I felt nothing but pressure and before I knew it, the waiting game was over. It was time to push. Leilani took a while to descend and at one point the student nurses (who weren’t even supposed to be in there according to my birth plan) were off chatting in the corner instead of holding up my legs so I could push. My beautiful bundle of joy arrived at 8:50 am weighing in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce and measuring 21 inches long. She had a head full of gorgeous brown hair and eyes of a brilliant blue. She was whisked away and I didn’t get to hold her until later in my room.

Life has been a whirlwind of wonderful moments and not so wonderful moments with my Leilani, and there are times I’d like to send her off to boot camp, but she is a wonderful girl. Everyone who meets her thinks she is a delightful child and more than once she has gotten compliments for her kindness and willingness to help others. I’m very proud of all her accomplishments thus far.

Happy Birthday my 10-year-going-on-18-year-old! Mommy loves you! :heart:

Filed under: Baby,Family,Holidays,Kids

My dad is moved out of his place, but I haven’t heard from him. My brother begged me to call him Thursday, so I did. There was no answer so Joey called back. That time a stranger answered. According to my brother, the stranger was a teenager my dad paid to help him move out. Don’t ask me why he didn’t do it weeks ago, because I haven’t a clue. I’m so relieved my dad had help because I was really worried he would be homeless. Since he refuses to have any communication with me, I really feel in the dark. But, I’m not going to worry about it anymore.

Christmas is on its way and there is no snow! There are some areas that have small patches of snow and ice, but for the most part, Anchorage is without. Pretty soon I really will be dreaming of a White Christmas! It’s just not the same without it.

Lauralei turned 6 months old on the 19th. She had to only get 2 shots this time at her appointment. Right now she is sitting up pretty well without support but occasionally topples over. She smiles really big when she does. Its so cute We let her try some Gerber Veggie puffs and she does really well with gumming them, so we’ll continue to give them to her. She’s eating solids twice a day now with the puffs being snacks. Besides that, she is mastering her skills at the sippy cup. My baby girl is growing so big. She weighs 19 pounds, 8 ounces and is 27 and 3/4 inches long. She is such a chubby little monkey that we have to buy her 12 month clothing. Unfortunately we still have to swaddle her at night. She flails her arms all over the place and smacks herself in the face (and scratches too). We’ve tried to put her to sleep without it a few times, but she always wakes herself up. She’s getting too big for the Miracle Blanket but I don’t know what else we can do.

Matthew and I went to the meeting I wrote about in my last entry and found out they haven’t evaluated Forrest yet. They needed our permission and information about him before they begin. It should all start within the next couple of weeks. Though it may sound crazy, I am very excited about this. We have been waiting for someone to tell us what they think of his behaviors for a very long time. Last night I searched You Tube and found several videos of children who were demonstrating some of the symptoms of Autism. There was a video with a little boy about Forrest’s age who was stimming. Watching it was like watching Forrest do it! I could not believe the similarities between them. I now know in my heart that my diagnosis is right. We just need something official.

The friend who made my Mei Tai carrier asked if I wanted to knit up a batch of hats and booties to sell on her site. I am so excited! I have to come up with a name for my “company”, but I want it to be something Alaskan, so I’m going to brainstorm. I need to find some more patterns too. It would be so nice to earn some extra money! Who knows, maybe it will go far and I can open my own online store (yeah right lol). :bananadance: