Filed under: Love

If I Were A Boy – Beyonce

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
and I’d never get confronted for it
cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
so they’d think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say it’s just a mistake,
think i’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
and you don’t understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’re taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you’re just a boy

——————————-

Home Ain’t Where His Heart Is Anymore – Shania Twain

He knew how to reach me deep inside
And he found a part of me I could not hide
And we’d walk and talk and touch tenderly
Then he’d lay me down and make love to me

We built a love so strong it couldn’t break
There was not a road we were afraid to take
And we’d kiss all the way from Arkansas to Rome
‘Cause in each other’s arms we were home sweet home

But he don’t feel the same
Since our lives became
Years of bills, babies and chains

Home ain’t where his heart is anymore
He may hang his hat behind our bedroom door
But he don’t lay his head down to love me like before
Home ain’t where his heart is anymore

If foundations made of stone can turn to dust
Then the hardest hearts of steel can turn to rust
If he could only find that feeling once again
If we could only change the way the story ends

And he may still come home
But I live here alone
The love that built these walls is gone

Home ain’t where his heart is anymore
He may hang his hat behind our bedroom door
But he don’t lay his head down to love me like before

He don’t lay his head down to love me like before
Home ain’t where his heart is anymore
No, home ain’t where his heart is

Filed under: Friends, Love

I saw a movie called “88 Minutes” yesterday. The main character said a wonderful quote.

“If I can’t forgive you, I don’t deserve you…”

Hearing it touched me and helped me realize that nobody deserves me and my friendship, if they cannot forgive me for what I have done. Especially if I have done nothing wrong at all…

Thank you Al Pacino.

Filed under: Kids, Love

Leilani hit the double digits today. She turned 10 years old. I can’t believe its been that long already. We had a very fun party at Build-A-Bear and she came home with a teddy bear, kitty cat, and an autograph bear. It wasn’t noisy or chaotic (because we usually go to Chuck E Hell). In fact, it was almost peaceful and after a while we were the only ones in the store. After we came home and ate chocolate ice cream cake she exclaimed that today was the best birthday ever. The kids were really worn out (thank goodness!). After their heads hit the pillow they were out like a light. And Lauralei is doing well right now too (I’ll probably pay for writing that later!) :yes:

I was 20 when I gave birth to Leilani. My pregnancy with her was almost text book. The delivery wasn’t. She was a week and a half late and I had to be induced with Cervadil. It took 3 of those suckers for contractions to begin and by the time they did it was early morning. I didn’t get much sleep before we trudged to the hospital but a nurse I came later to dislike, gave me something she called her “favorite cocktail” and that put me out for hours. Though, I had a knot in my butt for a few days.

When I awoke it was time for the anesthesiologist to give me an epidural. After that, I was given Pitocin, and a few hours later my water was broken by the doctor. We had a scare a little bit after that. Leilani went into distress and I couldn’t breath. It happened so fast. Everyone rushed out of the room and came back in wearing blue scrubs. Matthew too. I was frantic and signed a bunch of papers allowing them to perform an emergency c-section. But then it was over as soon as it began. They turned my body onto its side and Leilani was fine. And so was my breathing.

As my body began its transitions I felt nothing but pressure and before I knew it, the waiting game was over. It was time to push. Leilani took a while to descend and at one point the student nurses (who weren’t even supposed to be in there according to my birth plan) were off chatting in the corner instead of holding up my legs so I could push. My beautiful bundle of joy arrived at 8:50 am weighing in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce and measuring 21 inches long. She had a head full of gorgeous brown hair and eyes of a brilliant blue. She was whisked away and I didn’t get to hold her until later in my room.

Life has been a whirlwind of wonderful moments and not so wonderful moments with my Leilani, and there are times I’d like to send her off to boot camp, but she is a wonderful girl. Everyone who meets her thinks she is a delightful child and more than once she has gotten compliments for her kindness and willingness to help others. I’m very proud of all her accomplishments thus far.

Happy Birthday my 10-year-going-on-18-year-old! Mommy loves you! :heart:

Filed under: Baby, Family, Knitting, Love

Lauralei is 9 months old…Lauralei is 9 months old! Next month she reaches double digits and I still can’t believe how fast time has flown. She weighs 22 pounds and is 3o inches long and is still off the height and weight charts. She can now scoot across the floor on her booty and waves bye bye while saying “buh, buh” (which is so damn cute) and she constantly says “mama” over and over again until I melt into a puddle on the floor. I just love my oompascrumpdidilyumptious baby girl. I love Forrest and Leilani too, but its just so different when they are babies!

Forrest’s school evaluation came back and we went into a meeting last week. I’ve explained it so many times to everyone already that I think I’ll just state the obvious. He has Aspergers and is going to get an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) with the school. So he’ll be seeing the Occupational Therapist for his toe walking, pencil grip, and hopefully she can help him with the shoe typing and buttons and he’ll be seeing the school psychologist and the speech therapist as well. We learned after being tested, Forrest has an extremely high IQ and they want to place him in a gifted class called IGNITE. I guess he gets bored with his work sometimes because it is too easy for him. He’s reading at a 4th grade level and doing math at a 3rd grade level. I’m so proud of him, but yet kind of sad too because I do worry about what kids will treat him like in the future. He looks and sometimes acts like a very normal boy, but he has his odd behaviors like spinning a pencil and as kids get older, they will start to notice. I’ve heard of some mothers who homeschool their autistic children, but I don’t have the patience. And I’m quite certain I would GO CRAZY if I were around Forrest 24/7. I need a break once in a while. Summer is going to be insane. But, I do love him. I love that boy more than life itself and would lasso the moon if it meant he wouldn’t have Aspergers anymore. My life is going to get a lot more hectic now that we’ll be scheduling appointments all the time, but its so worth it. We finally have a diagnosis and I don’t feel as frustrated as I was before.

Leilani signed up for her cheer team at school. Its just like cheerleading, but not as intense because its only Elementary school. She is so excited and already learning cheers and choreography. Today the team was measured for their uniforms. I can’t wait to see what she looks like with pom-poms in hand.

I have so much to do! There are many projects I’m trying to either take on, or plan in my head and its kinda driving me insane, but I want to do these things. I have to knit a whole bunch of hats and booties for a  women’s show in May. A friend and I created a baby wearing group and she sells Mei Teis (which is how I met her because I bought one of hers hehe). She is letting me in on her show. I’m going to pay my half for the booth, but I won’t be able to do it unless I have some stuff knitted! May isn’t too far away! I’m hoping if I have enough time I will be able to knit for both the women’s show and for Etsy. I’ve already got a name on there and everything, I just need to make some business cards and open my store! If you have a spending problem, DON’T GO THERE! Unless you really love handmade things and you have some extra moula. You will get hooked! I can’t stop finding things on there that I want to buy. You should see my “favorite sellers” list.  :mrgreen: